Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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