He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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