If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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