Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
