So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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