If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize