and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
