omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you never un-have a 4some
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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