Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
