woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
