is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
