she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You smell like stripper and shame
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize