Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
