First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
