Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
