is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize