She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize