The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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