all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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