everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize