:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize