You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
