dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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