What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
