C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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