He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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