hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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