did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
