p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
