This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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