If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
