Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
