One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize