Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
