I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize