then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
