I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
