But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
