party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
