Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
