did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
