I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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