he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
