I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
