real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
