I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize