Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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