He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
