i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just cropdusted the office
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
