You're completely useless in the revolution.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I woke up under a house in Key West
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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