i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
