This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
