I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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