I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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