To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
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Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Liz is crying about burritos again.
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I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize