after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We got so high we made milksteak
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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