im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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