I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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