Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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