You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Your cock deserves a montage
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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